Goddess Incognito

I hear...

soft sigh of my steady breath
babbling of a nearby creek, laughing unconcerned
bird song and fluttering feathers in the trees whose branches moan in unison with the push of sporadic winds
the low growl of thunder high overhead as it builds in volume and ferocity, then dies away

I see...

crisp, clear water rushing over rocks and roots
leaves and grass twisting and bowing to the insistent wind
tangled branches of underbrush shimmying and gyrating as if to out dance the more stately swaying trees
massive clouds hanging low and thick in the sky like an inverted mountain landscape painted all in grey and white

I feel...

dry dirt and leaves beneath my bare feet
swishing and swirling of the cotton skirt against my legs
my heart pounding in my chest
my hands open and arms spread wide as I breathe deeply of the rain scent and a warm breeze runs invisible fingers through my hair and over my neck and shoulders
my face stretched in a grin of delight as the first drops splash cool against my skin

The moonlight streamed through my window last night, highlighting the pentacle I'd drawn in oil on the glass.  I'd almost forgotten that spell, but there is was, protecting me this whole time.

There is a certain peace that comes with being bathed in moonlight late in the dark hours.  I reflected on what my life has been lately and identified some points where I need to take control and correct my course.

Juliet Capulet called the moon "inconstant" for it's ever waning and waxing, but the rhythms of the moon are timeless, sacred, and can give guidance when we are heart-sore and world weary.

Last night, by the cool, silver moonlight, I remembered who I am.

I have this idea of how winter should be.  There's the cold, of course, and snow, hopefully, but there's also the golden warmth of a fire in the fire place and me on the hearth with a project in hand.  Quiet hours, peaceful and filled with crafty industry, lay stretched out before me.  The holidays are in there somewhere, with family and friends sitting round the circle, beaming and chanting out the traditional tunes about love and light and the coming of the sun.  The food and laughter are focal, of course.  My heart swells to almost breaking, looking on the faces of my loved ones.  A perfect winter... Naturally, something always manages to go wrong, but this ideal is somehow still present, so long as I have a craft in my hands and my loved ones around me.

My birthday is December 3. This is my wish list for those of you who would like to give me something.

First of all, the best gift is you.  Let's go somewhere and do something.  It doesn't have to be expensive, just spend time with me.

Rotary tool.  (My old one just broke down.)  $28.99
  http://www.amazon.com/Black-Decker-RTX-B-Rotary-Storage/dp/B000MUSLCC/ref=sr_1_11?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1320691160&sr=1-11

Pocket Camping Saw  (I'd actually like a couple of these)  $2.98
  http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000O9GHDQ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?ie=UTF8&m=AVLVWG5V1W4DF

Fire Starter  $4.15
  http://www.amazon.com/SE-Emergency-Fire-Starter/dp/B0010O748Q/ref=pd_bxgy__img_b

The Land of Painted Caves: A Novel (Earth's Children) 
UPDATE: I already have this book.  Thanks for looking.

Rotary Egg Beater  $14.84
  http://www.amazon.com/Norpro-2268-Rotary-Egg-Beater/dp/B00004UE7D/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pd_T1?ie=UTF8&coliid=I25E1KHNDEIUDY&colid=WKC3KY60XEIK

Mindflex Game  $60.00
  http://www.amazon.com/Mattel-P2639-Mindflex-Game/dp/B001UEUHCG/ref=wl_it_dp_o_npd?ie=UTF8&coliid=IHRS23ZTXUGS5&colid=WKC3KY60XEIK

Kindle e-book reader (with special offers)  $79
  http://www.amazon.com/Kindle-eReader-eBook-Reader-e-Reader-Special-Offers/dp/B0051QVESA/ref=amb_link_357728122_2?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_r=0BSRYZF9NSRZYT06CAT0&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=1331433982&pf_rd_i=507846

ACDC music  (anything but Black Ice album)

I am my own best friend. I'm the only one who will always be there for me no matter what. So, my answer is... All my life, though I've only recently come to know it.

Lyrics~"My Avalon"  by Laura Powers

There's a place in-between
My thoughts and my dreams
That touches me deeply

Light, shadows and beams
In shades of blue and green
And I'm lost completely

It's been a part of me always
I've known this forever

Where the sky meets the ocean
Through the mist there, just beyond
In the haven I long for
My Avalon

There's a song from inside
That pulls like the tide
When I'm here alone

From another time and place
A melody of grace
Is calling me home

And I'm filled with the sweet sound
I close my eyes and I follow

Where the sky meets the ocean
Through the mist there, just beyond
In the haven I long for
My Avalon

  I love the smells of Fall.  Crunchy brown leaves.  Wool yarn.  Wood fire.  Apples.  Cut pumpkins.  Hot glue gun.  Straw bales.  Thick soups and chili.  Fresh bread.  Did you ever notice that cold has it's own smell?

  Then there are the sounds.  Children laughing and shouting "Trick or Treat!"  The wind in the bare branches and the skitter-skit of leaves blown across pavement.  The whirrr of the sewing machine stitching up a piece of costume or just mending torn clothes.  Clicking of knitting needles.  The creak of a rocking chair on a wooden porch.  Rustling of dried corn stalks.  The plop of pumpkin guts scooped out onto newspaper.  And, of course, the snaps and pops of a wood fire.

  Autumn is almost here, not just by the calendar, but by the feel of nature getting ready to slow down and rest.  It's my favorite season, the relief at the end of a scorching summer.  I am so very ready.

It was a remarkably warm day for January, and I was taking a walk around one of the several local parks.  The air that moved gently over my skin and through my hair was perfectly temperate.  Sounds of dogs barking, children playing, birds singing, and the splashing and quacking of ducks drifted to my ears.  I stopped by the lake and was momentarily blinded by the sun shining on the water.  Turing my back to it and looking up at the barren branches of whatever type of deciduous trees stood along the path, I let the sun's warmth seep into my back and the peace of the day wash over my spirit. 

While gazing at the stark beauty of those leafless trees, my mind slowed.  The light reflecting from the water behind me made a rippling light show on the trunks and lower branches.  Higher, the tips of the up-most twigs seemed to glow orange against the intensely blue sky.  The cumulative effect of each separate element of that moment was transcendent and I stood, my heart singing with neither lyrics nor melody, lost in timelessness, taking in and praising the myriad sensations of being fully aware and connected.

All too soon, the day-to-day minutia of human life began tugging at my consciousness and I had to come back to being the separate individual currently inhabiting this body.  Time moved forward once more and I went about the rest of my day with a much lighter, and more reverent, step.

The expansive feeling of that moment is never far away.  I pull this memory out and can almost feel again the combined warmth of the sun and the light from my core dissolving my barriers, melding me with the joyous we.

Thank the Gods the most capitalist holiday in the US is over and done with! ( Read Rant )
I hope everyone had a great Yule, Christmas, or other December holiday.
In the coming calendar year, I wish you enough.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”
- – - written by Bob Perks

And finally, a new (double) entry for the Gratitude Journal:

1. Freeing myself from next year's holiday madness.
2. My newest good friend, KindlyKing.  He has been a great companion and conversationalist and gives excellent cuddles.
3. A number of good herbal remedies on hand to help me through this cold.
4. Coming through another semester in college.
5. Golf balls.  I found so many this Fall on the way to and from my archery class.  They're great for juggling.
6. Our central heat failing this year.  It's reminded me that there are many people much, much less fortunate than me.
7. Space heaters and electric blankets. See item 6.
8. The kind and caring people at the non-profit where I do volunteer work.
9. The understanding of the people who's gifts I didn't finish before the holiday.
10. The toe right next to my big toe on each foot.  Those slender toesies do a lot of work!